Good Hair...

As a black woman I have grown up with the message that my skin color gave me a disadvantage in the looks department. While you would hear the phrases "I am black and proud!" or " Black is beautiful". I would also hear the phrases "Midnight", "Tar" and " too dark" in reference to my skin. Better yet these terms were used by the black people around me. Growing up,there was always a message about being black and it usually was negative.

I had beautiful big hair when I was child. It was as long as Rudy Huxtables. But my mother would often refer to it as steal wool. It was too "hard to comb". There was "so much of it"," too thick" and so she took me to the hair dresser for a relaxer. If you have not seen Chris Rock's movie Good Hair please check it out. It breaks down the institutionalized self loathing matrix that is " black hair in north America". Anyway back to my story. So my hair was straightened at about 7/8 years of age. I remember feeling unnatural about the way my hair fell to my shoulders and moved in the breeze. But neighbors ooh and ahhed over my hair.Well at least for the 2 weeks I had it. My hair started to fall out. By the end of the month I had about 3 cm of hair and a Jeri Curl... To this day I would swear there is a patch of my hair that refuses to grow because of this "relaxer" experience.

Beauty. It is such a funny thing. In 2010, with all that we have scientifically and medically. We still lack the understanding and respect of our selves and other cultures. Black women do not know their own hair. We relax it on the premise " we can't comb it"... What are we? Alien bred? We have super hair that cannot be combed? Pleeeassee. What happened is we were removed from our roots and in that we were bombarded with beauty that was not us. And in that we began to assimilate to maintain. Maintain jobs, friendships through a manufactured and perceived beauty. In watching good hair my real feelings about perming my hair or getting a weave come to the surface.

I hate it. I hate that people ask me about my hair as if it flew in from Mars. I mean my natural hair. I hate the fact that as a people black people don't appreciate their own beauty. I hate the fact I straighten my hair for job interviews knowing if I show up with what God gave me it may hinder my chances. This is not a belief. This is fact. In my office there are Executives that literally only spoke to me to say hello when I had straight hair. On days where my hair was twisted ( a more natural styling) they literally would look away.

It's unfortunate that in North America black people make up 12% of the population but buy 80% of the hair weave. It is sad that there are less than 4 black owned hair companies. It is amazing that in 2010 no one has researched products that genuinely will be healthy for black hair if not all the various hair types. It is sad to me that black mothers are "relaxing" their daughters hair just years into life in pursuit of "good hair".

I often wonder, what other race on earth would hide their biological traits and gifts in such a way?

Watch this...

Skinny Bitches...

Nothing much on my mind today so I figured I would let it wander...I strolled past the bull shit at my incestuous "work" place, past the TTC rides from hell, past my indulgence into chicken wings and cookies over to a topic that makes my cholesterol boil... I stopped at Skinny Bitches. OK I don't actually call them skinny bitches it just sounds funnier than saying "smaller human being". I don't dislike skinny bitches. I dislike bitches who are skinny.

How can I explain this? I am a unique looking but attractive woman. Yea yea some may dispute it but beauty is relative.So in even a general sense overall I fall into the category of attractive. I am also "plus size", " pleasantly plump"...I have what some would phrase as " More cushion for the pushin'". I appreciate women. All races, all sizes. I appreciate the beauty of a woman. And no I am not a lesbian although I wish I was. But I see the beauty in all women. I also don't really get jealous.I find the positive in what others do and tend to think everyone can have anything as long as they want it bad enough and work for it. So when I encounter a bitch who is skinny and she looks down on me solely because of the fact I weigh more, I get annoyed.

See the problem with women who are bitches and skinny is they are in-balanced. Kinda like me on a scale or me running a treadmill. Not all bitches are skinny and not all skinny women are bitches but there is a certain type of woman...A type you know when you meet her. She has little substance outside of being skinny. Her every sentence is related to her size. I find these women extremely insecure. The equivalent to me on a beach in a bathing suit at spring break. They are wrought with fear and self loathing. Some comedians will joke these women need a sandwich. I say they need self esteem.

Healthy well adjusted human beings do not brag about their lack of belly fat. They just live. They just are.

I have had the pleasure of being around many women who made a point to put me down when they knew I looked good, when they knew my look was right , when they knew a man was interested in me. I have had smaller women try to diminish my being, my natural spirit and light because they felt they were more entitled - just for being skinny or smaller than I. They felt they were worth more.

Sometimes you just want to shake a skinny bitch and say smarten up this is not a competition. I think women need to respect the fact that we too are individuals and were not intended to be cookie cutter vaginas readily available to the masses for pleasure. Women whose only life goal is to be skinny, whose best "accomplishment" in life is maintaining a size 4 or less, whose idea of greatness is staying at 112 pounds...I say good for you. But remember there is a whole world out there and a Lord above. This is real life so make your mark be more than wearing a size 26. Don't diminish the light you see in others. Do what makes you happy and be proud of being healthy if you are but do not ever think that your lack of mass gives you the right to negate the beauty of another human being in this life. Do not think your lack of weight buys you eternal life. Do not believe your dress size sums up your womanhood or appoints you as the overseer of womanhood.

It doesn't.

Just imagine there are wars taking place, world hunger still exists and diseases have not been cured and with all this there are beautiful smart women announcing their lifetime achievement is being skinny...

Bitches;)

Mo'Nique Standup Comedy - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.