Thursday, March 18, 2010
Is Monogamy to Good to be True???
Jay Z has a song called " Haters" and when I heard the news that Sandra Bullock's husband cheated on her I immediately started to sing the lyrics in my head. I thought about her Oscar win. Her climax and how special it was to watch her receive that award and thank the man she loved. If you check my blog post "The Best I Love You's Ever" you will see I am a sucker for love and monogamy and forever. To me this kind of love is a representation of God, faith and hope. Things we can't see but we can feel. Things we can't touch but we believe in. So I really wanted to believe their love and life was as perfectly monogamous as it appeared to be.
When Monique accepted her Golden Globe and spoke about her and her best friend / husband at 14 years old planning their future, well I nearly teared up. She gazed across the podium into his eyes and you could see there was love. It looked perfect. Not like the Jerry Springer " I am so smitten with you I am going to beat you with this chair" love, or Maury Povich "I am so sorry I fucked your cousin, but I was mad" love. It looked like God had sent them to one another.
Monique did an interview with Barbara Walters where she revealed her marital relationship is an open one.
Open...Like a field?
Monique said she feels securing knowing who her husband is and all he does. To read more about this you can check my blog "Monique Oks Cheating". My heart sank when I heard this woman had married into an open relationship. Everything in me said what is the point? I shouldn't judge peoples marriages but in this case, What the FUCK?
I guess I really bought into it. The whole we are married and love each other ONLY type thing. And maybe it's juvenile or adolescent of me. But I believe in this type of love, commitment and dedication. I believe it exists. And while some say it is unrealistic, it's not. It's just that rare.
So fast forward to last night. I hear an Entertainment Journalist say that Sandra Bullock's husband had an 11 month affair with a woman he met on Facebook. My heart fell. No it sank. Just dropped for Sandra. Dropped because firstly she was at an all time high in life and someone had to find something to publicly bring her down. Secondly because if this was true, the man she loved had betrayed her and this had become public knowledge.
I just kept thinking these marriages are shams. Just sad... Is monogamy dead? Is it not life long? And why do people have to bring people down when they are at their happiest or their best? I don't mean to hate on Monique's love I just thought it was so different from what it actually was. And everyone has a right to determine what love and what practices work best for them.It's their life after all.
I just wonder...Is life long monogamy the unicorn of relationships?